can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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