Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
