just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single