So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say