i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.