why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?