so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.