just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky