I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Dating After Heartbreak
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom