please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
