Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
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we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
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Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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