naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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