At least make sure they are 18
Why
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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