is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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