Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
