You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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