what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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