how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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