I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
my poor anus
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize