i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Mom said you looked used
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sobbing to NWA
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
