____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
