a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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