Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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