Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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