Where did you get a picture of my penis
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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