We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
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