Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize