So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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