Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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