I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I touched a dick in church today