all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.