We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
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Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?