Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green