why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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