Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
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