Just fell off a train. Bad.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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