Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
