don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.