He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
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It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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