i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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