oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
