I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
