JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement