the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dicks are not precious.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.