oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep