the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.