I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize