the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
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Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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