dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
