doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
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After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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