so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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