Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
