About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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