; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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