He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
