dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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