i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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