I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
