that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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