ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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