I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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