All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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